Growing up I was not allowed to show fear. I was not allowed to be scared, afraid or tired. I lived on a farm, things were rough. The wind was rough, the cold was rough, the language was rough. I needed to show strength in biking the long commute from home to school. I needed my parents approval and wanted to escape their hypercritical words. I wanted them to praise me, I wanted them to see me. I wanted to be fearless, I wanted to raise above my mother’s anxious energy. I wanted to be safe. Up until now I am not finding that safety. I am a wild overachiever, sometimes too insecure, sometime overconfident.
Scary is what things feel like, Scary is a feeling, scary is not weakness. To feel and have feelings is not weak. It is not weak to be afraid. What most of us do not see yet is that we feel many feelings at the same time. It is not one or the other. Sometimes it is even five feelings that we can be having in one moment, about one situation and that is human. That is the wide variety of being a unique creature made by God, You are God’s masterpiece, you are work of his art. And such a masterpiece is special and has many colors and shades. And that is why you have a wide variety of feelings to experience in your days. In your relationships, inside of yourself. You can be confident and anxious at the same time. You can be scared and courageous at the same time. You can be angry and glad at the same time. Have you noticed that after coming home from a party and finding out that you liked to have played with some children, as I do with my nephews. Or.. you talked to some people and others made you feel angry or in a less intense way: annoyed?
Let feelings be, feel your feelings with kindness and mindfulness. Without indulging on them though. Feelings starts by feeling and expressing emotions with proper care. How do we do that, you might ask? Sit with them, hug yourself, speak soft words to yourself. We call this a check-in.
You are human, you need to honor yourself like a human being with unpleasant and pleasant emotions, both. It is natural, it is human. You will be fine again!! Better than you were. Because emotions are temporary. They move as the waves of the sea. They crest and then they fall again. Unless you are trying to suppress the sea and demarcate it artificially into some kind of bay. 😉 Unless you push it down, pretend you are not angry, pretend you are not sad and confirm your denial by using substances or distractions. Take proper care! You are enough.